Bolt (voice of Travolta) is a celebrity dog and the star of a hit TV show where his amazing feats and powers draw big ratings. But when a mail-room mix-up finds him roaming free on the streets of New York City, the wonder dog will have to learn to rely on his actual strengths -- as well as his new friends, an abandoned housecat and a starry-eyed hamster -- in order to find his way back home to his owner and co-star, Penny (voice of Cyrus).
In her new town of Forks, Washington, misfit teenager Bella Swan (Stewart) falls for her alluring and mysterious classmate, Edward Cullen (Pattinson). As it turns out, Edward belongs to a lineage of vampires, although he doesn't fit the typical vampire mold. As their passion reaches dizzying heights, can Edward resist his natural urges, and will he be able to defend Bella from his family members who have come for her?
Metermaid Les Franken (Rapaport) has an unexpected reaction to the anti-depressant he's taking as part of a clinical trial; suddenly convinced he's a superhero, he embraces his new powers, dons a homemade costume, and hits the streets to protect the citizens of his city. the corporation behind the pill, fearing bad publicity about their drug, set out to bring down our hero, who in turn hones his abilities to fight off his new arch-nemeses.
The Inside-In World Of Cyrus Teed
Cyrus Teed began life on October 18th, 1839. From
there, things get kind of weird. By age eleven, he had dropped out of school to
work on the tow path for the Erie Canal. Although his family wanted him to
become a Baptist minister, Cyrus chose to follow in his uncle’s footsteps and
study medicine or, at least, what passed for medicine in those days. He became
what was known as an eclectic physician,
or what would today be called an herbalist.
Dr. Teed, as he was now known, also had a predilection for experiments
involving dangerously high levels of electricity.
During one
such “experiment,” Dr. Teed managed to almost electrocute himself and went
unconscious. During his stupidity induced “naptime,” Dr. Teed had a vision of a
woman who claimed to be the Messiah. After awakening, Dr. Teed vowed to turn
his scientific prowess to all matters that would “redeem humanity,” so he
started a cult.
There are
some who say that Dr. Teed’s self-induced electro-shock therapy may have caused
a teensy-weensy bit of brain damage in the poor doctor as his methods and his
ideas became unsound. His most interesting theory, ignoring, of course, his
claim to have turned lead into gold through alchemy, was that the world was, in
fact, hollow.
Dr. Teed,
who by now had changed his name (quite eerily) to “Koresh,” the Hebrew for “Cyrus,”
theorized that the “earth” was actually inside out and that everyone was held
down to the ground not by gravity but by centrifugal force. The sun was not a
star at all, but a battery operated device and the stars were mere reflections
on the outside (inside?) of the planet. Dr. Teed dubbed his grand speculation Cellular Cosmogony or Koreshan Unity.
Dr. Teed
began preaching the virtues of Koreshanity in 1877 and managed to find hundreds of people who wanted to
believe, moving over two-hundred and fifty of them to the swamplands of Estero,
Florida, to found his New Jerusalem. No one can say that the Koreshans were in
any way lethargic. In between taking measurement on the beach to prove that the
Earth (the one we’re on, not the one we’re in) was concave, they had a utilities
and electrical works, a sculpture and concrete works, a tin works, a mattress
making shop, a hat and basket weaving shop, a shoe shop, a blacksmith shop, a
print shop, a laundry, a dining hall, a saw mill and a boat works
On October 13, 1906, a group of
Koreshans, while awaiting the arrival of the Atlantic Coast Line train out of
Baltimore, managed to get into a fight. Dr. Teed tried to break it up, but was
bludgeoned about the head by the local Marshal, S. W. Sanchez, for his
troubles. After posting ten dollars for bail each, the Koreshans went on about
their business. Two years later, Dr. Teed died on December 22nd,
1908, from complications of those very same head wounds.
Dr. Teed had prophesized that he
would be resurrected after his death, so his followers kept him propped up in a
bathtub for days until health officials finally forced them to bury their Messiah.
He was interred in a zinc box within a concrete tomb that he had ordered
constructed prior to his death. Then the waiting began. His followers’ faith
began to wane as years passed without Dr. Teed materializing as promised. On
two separate occasions, a follower had tried to hurry up the process by opening
up Dr. Teed’s tomb. Both went immediately insane upon laying hands on the tomb
and both were institutionalized.
Let this be a lesson to all you little cult leaders in
training; don’t tell your followers that you’ll rise from the dead. Tell them
that you are just leaving your mortal body behind as your spirit ascends to a
higher plane of existence. Oh wait…that’s not a cult...that’s Christianity.